And like many American Roman Catholics, I disagree on the politics of the Church and the behavior of its leaders. During this decade, I ceased any donations through the church collection plate because much of that money has gone to defend the Church from its sinful behavior protecting itself and criminal priests. Just like I don’t expect the Church to pick up my bar tab from Saturday night at Micky’s, I’m not willing to pony up for the sexual indiscretions and moral failures of the Church. . . until it ponies up for mine!
According to Catholics for a Free Choice, 96% of Catholic women have used a prohibited form of contraception at some point and 71% of Roman Catholics believe that you can be a “good Catholic” while disobeying the Church’s official position on birth control. In fact, a September 2005 poll by Harris Interactive found that 90% of American Roman Catholics supported the use of contraceptives. So, do we ask 96% of Catholic women why they continue to live in opposition to the Church? Perhaps, but I think we are more forgiving despite the seriousness of these sexual “transgressions” exactly because they seem to be more common. Gay Catholics don’t take up half the pew space (at least in most parishes) even if they take up that much room on the Altar. So, as we are rarer it is easier to place a critical eye on us.
Catholicism is, to many Catholics, bigger than Mass, a few Sacraments and a man in a dress and a silly hat living in his of fiefdom with hundreds of other men. We grew up in the Church and many of our fondest or strongest or strongest fond memories have organ music in the background or feature free coffee and donuts after. The holidays were always punctuated with colorfully decorated sanctuaries and seemingly endless waiting in a cold church. Most of our families’ milestones typically included a pit-stop at church on the way. Catholicism is as much cultural as it is spiritual, perhaps another thing we share with (or stole from) our Jewish brothers and sisters.
That doesn’t mean the Church doesn’t often act to harm queer men and women. They funnel money to anti-marriage initiatives and fuel legislative fires against gay people. But, if I was hungry – without regard to my sexuality – I could find a meal in many churches. If I was sick, I could find health care in one of the many Catholic hospitals. And if I sought to learn, I could be educated in a Catholic school – which I did!
I disagree with the Church on many things, but it will always be part of my life.
A far wiser, more faithful, and braver man than I, Father Mychal Judge is carried out of the rumble of the World Trade Center. He was a Franciscan priest, a fire department chaplain, a recovering alcoholic, and an openly gay (and celibate) man.
I understand that being Catholic is a part of your identity, but it isn't something that is necessary immutable. We had donuts and choir music in the Methodist church, too...
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